reflection...

There's too much to say about the past year. Too many amazing highs surround a few difficult lows. Words can't recreate those 365 days, but here are a few snippets to remind my forgetful future self about 2012.

I started the year hoping I was pregnant, only to be devastated (again!) that I wasn't. We decided to get proactive about it and went to a fertility doctor, and got pregnant within the first month. This was obviously one of the most exciting things of the year, or should I say just the beginning of THE most exciting thing of not just 2012, but my life.

My Baw died in June. The pain was unfathomable. I physically ached. I feared it would hurt my little baby inside of me. We mourned and grieved and prayed, and one day, a sense of peace came over me. I released the pain and anger and replaced it with happy memories and the satisfaction of knowing she was in Heaven with my Grandaddy and God.

We spent the spring and summer stressed about Zac's job situation. Would he return to his current job, would be move to Austin, should he take a higher paying job that required a very lengthy commute. Silly us for worrying, God knew all along where Zac would be. It all worked out, and he's back in the town where we live, and quite enjoys his new gig. He's home about two more hours per day than he was the previous two years. Thankful!

Good things happened for friends and family. My sister had her third beautiful child, Stacy got engaged,  Ramsi fell in love, my little brother-in-law got engaged, Bez opened several new stores and moved to a new place, JT finally got his dreamjob as a fireman, Ellen had a baby, Robin got married, the list goes on. The people around me are seeing their dreams come true, and I get to witness it. Their blessings also bless me. I get happy off their happiness.

We had some health scares with Molly and I feared we would lose her. I was saddened that her life would change so much with the new addition. She is still here, happy and healthy. The worrying was pointless. She's a soldier, my Molly girl. She love her brother like we do.

Drew arrived in October and exceeded all my expectations. I knew I'd think he was perfect and cute because I'm his Momma, but then he really was. People tell me so everyday. I got sick and then I got better. The first weeks were easy, then it got harder. But we loved him so deep and this bond is indescribable. How can being a mom be so "ordinary?" There is nothing ordinary about this fierce and intense love. It defines me. Yes, I'm still a daughter, sister, wife, friend, but mostly I'm a mom. He owns me, and I love it. I live for him. What was the purpose of life before him?

So yeah, 2012 was the year I was born. It was a remarkable year that we will never, ever forget.

2013 resolutions...
-lose weight
-grow out my hair
-care less about what others think, and more about God thinks