Grace Like Rain Falls Down on ME!

I can't explain it. There is not rhyme or reason, or some event that occurred. Today was just one of those days that I was completely humbled by how amazing and awesome God is. I do not deserve the billion blessing he sends me. I do not deserve His forgiveness. Some days I even let myself down. Yet He loves me, and cares, and waits patiently for me to return the adoration. Lord, I praise you. Thanks for all you do for me (the things I can see, and the things I can't). Please give me strength, that I may continue to make you proud and be a servant to you. As I realize that I only have a few more weeks left with my cheerleaders, I have been reflecting, and asking myself if I have been the person and role model He would want me to be. I pray the answer is yes. Have a blessed weekend, and if you have time, take a few minutes to listen (yes, actually LISTEN) to this song. It just moved me to tears...the thought that we can not even comprehend how powerful, healing, generous, kind, and understanding the Lord is! *goosebumps!

Blessed, Thankful, Awed...
Jules

"If you ain't getting money, you ain't got nothing fo' me."

Na Na Na...Diva is a female version of a hustler! Just ask Beyonce. Or SEE for yourself. Man, check out those fierce shoes! Can she see out of those glasses? WARNING: You might just fall in love with this song, and um, you will definitely get it stuck in your head, whether you like it or not. :) "This is a stick up, stick up!" Tell me that video doesn't make you want to stand in your room when noone is home and dance like her! Haha, Zac is asleep and I just had to stand up and try out the neck move. (1:13) Her neck can look up really high, can't it? haha, I guess my neck is not that flexible. Or maybe I just don't have as much hair to fling, so it doesn't look as dramatic! haha!

Also, I guess since The Ting Ting's are getting more popular in the US, they remade their video for "That's Not My Name." I like this one much better than the original. It's worth watching. (You might notice it's like a football game on speed...neon band, twirlers, and even cheer stunting too! Double bonus!)

I am so looking forward to Britney's CIRCUS concert, March 31st! I know it is still far away, but I am so anxious! The Pussycat Dolls (PCD) are opening for her, and I love their new slow song "I Hate This Part Right Here." I can't wait to see them either! But, of course, my love for Brit completely eclipses my like for PCD!

Banquet and Begging

Saturday night was the annual football banquet. In the town we live it, everything is very over the top, so the high school football banquet (as well as the cheer banquet, which is coming up) is semi-formal and very fancy. My favorite part of the banquet was seeing some of my favorite cheerleaders, who were there as dates to football players, all dressed up and looking pretty.
Here are the senior cheerleaders that were there, which happen to be some of my favorites from last year and this year. The dress on the far right was my favorite dress of the whole banquet...isn't it gorgeous? The back had a cutout square and two black bows connecting one side to the other. (hard to explain, but beautiful!) I told her she deserved the "best dressed" award! Oh, and you can always click on any picture on my blog to see it enlarged. :)Here are some of my freshmen cheerleaders that were at the banquet. They look so grown up!
Zac and I gave blood on Saturday, and neither of us really felt up to going out with some of the other coaches after the banquet. We came home and just pretty much went to bed, but first we took some pics with Molly. She has been a little clingy since we started back to school, and I don't blame her. She went from having us 24/7 to barely seeing us at all. Pobrecita!
Molly has never been afraid of being vocal when she wants something. Once at my parents house she sat at the bottom of a bookshelf for thirty minutes crying and whining, with an occasional bark. I thought she was going insane, and then I finally realized that there was a tennis ball resting on top of some books on the top shelf. How she knew it was there was beyond me, but hey, no one can say she's not persistent. Recently if we are cooking, or online, or watching tv, and not paying attention to her, she will sit at our feet and beg and cry for attention. (that makes us sound like bad parents, but I promise she gets plently of love, affection, and attention...she just wants it non-stop!) I was laying in bed the other evening watching Ellen, and she wanted me to play tug-of-war with her. See for yourself how pathetic she sounds, and how annoyed she gets when I imitate her...


Fellow Pop-Tarts! (my friends who love pop/hip-hop/rap/pop culture):
1. How amazing is THIS new song by Flo Rida? It might be a bit PG-13, but it is so fun and catchy, and it's a remake of that awesome old song "watch out here I come...you spin me right round, baby, right round, like a record baby, right round, round, round."
2. Surely y'all have already heard Kelly Clarkson's new song. Well, the video for it has leaked onto the web. Check it out.

Jayma Simpson's Oscar Picks

Oscar nominations were released today, since the actual awards show will be in exactly one month, February 22nd. Although I have never seen ALL the movies that are up, I feel I saw a healthy bunch of movies this year, but I still haven't seen alot of the ones nominated. Maybe I need to do some catching up! :) It was a good year for the movies, if you ask me. Here are the nominations, and my picks (which is who I want to win, not necessarily who I think will win)...

1. Best Picture: "Slumdog Millionaire"

2. Actor: Brad Pitt "The Curious Case of Benjamin Button"

3. Actress: Anne Hathaway "Rachel Getting Married"

4. Supporting Actor: Heath Ledger, "The Dark Knight"

5. Supporting Actress: Amy Adams, "Doubt"

To see the complete list of nominees, click here. But excuse me, where was Seven Pounds, and Gran Torino? Surely they didn't miss the cutoff, how could they have been overlooked? I am absolutely dumbfounded!! Rosario Dawson deserved an award for supporting actress (or would that be best actress), and Clint Eastwood CERTAINLY deserved best actor! :( Hmph!!!

UPDATE (1/25/09) The more I think about it, the more upset I am that Gran Torino was snubbed! It was such a powerful and amazing movie, with the best acting and writing and everything. I just don't understand. Seven Pounds was also great, but I'm not as mad about that one. I recommended Gran Torino to a friend and she just saw it last night and called to tell me how wonderful it was, which made me angry all over again that it's not being recognized. Well, Clint Eastwood, I would like to recognize you. Job Well Done!!!

P.S.-Zac and I just Revolutionary Road this past weekend and we both thought it was horrible. Did anyone like it? We thought it was awful. My blood is bubbling just thinking about it. Anyways, if you go to see it, don't say I didn't warn you! But if any of you did like it, I want to hear from you. Why? How?

Spring Break 09!

Zac and I are going on our first real trip together as a couple this spring break!! (Corpus Christi doesn't count!) We have both flown since getting married, but never together. We booked our flights today and we are going to....(drumroll, please).......Seattle and Portland! :) We are so super excited. We had been talking about wanting to go just this weekend with my mom. Everything fell in to place perfectly, and it seems that it is fate that we are going on this trip. We were originally supposed to be going to Spain/Europe this summer, but that has been put off to next summer 2010, when I have actually been working for a year, so we have more moolah. So this trip is a nice little baby step leading up to our big trip next summer! :)
You might be wandering "Why Portland/Seattle?" Well, my friends, have no fear. I have prepared a David Letterman style list for that...

Top Ten Reasons we're Visiting the Northwest Coast:
10. Southwest Airlines was running a special, 50% flights to Seattle.
9. Zac loves Sleepless in Seattle, and I like Jason, The Bachelor from Seattle.
8. The trees and mountains are supposed to be amazing!

7. If something happens to us, we can meet the doctors of Seattle Grace Hospital. (paging McDreamy...paging McSteamy...stat!)
6. Space Needle, anyone?

5. It is near the place where Bella fell in love with Edward, therefore obviously romantic. (And full of diamond skinned Vampires! That is two reasons, really!)

4. We get to see Uncle Bill, who lives in Kent, right outside of Seattle. If you were at our wedding, there is NO way you forgot Uncle Bill. :)

3. I was awarded extra scholarship money for my good grades (3.9 GPA, big balla!) and we thouught a trip would be more fun than a new piece of furniture.
2. Did I mention Twilight? Probably not enough.
AND, Ladies and Gentlemen, the number one reason we are taking and so excited about this trip...
1. We get to stay with Zac's awesome cousin Luke, and his equally amazing wife Kayla!! :)

If you want to see more pictures, check out their BLOG. I think it is honestly what made me want to take this trip so badly! The land is gorgeous! We can not wait!!!

Best Tuesday EVER!!!

I think this song pretty much sums up the way I feel. Although I also give a big ditto to THIS post, and the following comments.

"a renewed sense of purpose and progress"

This is an interesting video about the history of inauguration, as well as Obama's personal message about Tuesday. I am looking forward to this day, and just watching CNN talk about the inauguration gave me goosebumps. How beautiful that we live in a country where the people have a say in who leads us and how we are lead. Last week I finished the book A Thousand Splendid Suns about two women born and raised in Afghanistan. It is by the author of The Kite Runner, and it is AMAZING!!! The book historically accounts the never-ending wars and shift of rulers and power Afghanistan has experienced over the last 50 years. I absolutely take America, the place, the concept, the freedom, everything about it, for granted. I am not proud to say that, but I do. As Barack Obama says, to peacefully hand over power of the country to a person that WE elected, is such an amazing thing. Maybe the book I just finished helped me realize this, or maybe I am finally getting old enough to have these kind of thoughts, but whatever it is, I am grateful. I am aware and I do NOT want to take this kind of thing for granted. I can not wait to watch the ceremony on Tuesday, and to hear Obama say these words: "I do solemnly swear (or affirm) that I will faithfully execute the office of President of the United States, and will to the best of my ability, preserve, protect and defend the Constitution of the United States."
What an exciting day for America, and for little old me! Because after all, this country is made up of single, individual, non-important people like me, who come together to make big and important decisions! :)

Back in the Saddle Again...

Yep, yooooooooooou guessed it! We are headed to Oklahoma to spend a weekend at the ranch! My mom and dad are going with us, and we are really looking forward to it! :) I will not be shooting a gun this year, but I can't wait to see Blue and Dollar and all the cows! I can't wait to see my Mama and Papa riding horses! :) Y'all have a wonderful weekend, and I will post lots of pics on Monday! To see pics from the last time we went to the ranch, click here.

Introducing Jayma Simpson

I was going to name this post "more random ramblings" but then I decided that if I keep posting once a week about random and various entertainment things, I would quickly get tired of having stupid titles. So, I decided to make a new persona. Does anyone recognize the name Mario Lavandeira? Nope? tWell, that is because he goes by Perez Hilton. He is a celebrity/entertainment blogger. Well, since I have been blogging about the entertainment world so much lately, I decided I needed my own cool blogger name. "Perez Hilton" is obviously a knock-off of one of Mario's favorite celebs Paris Hilton. I don't have just one favorite celebrity, but I guess the person I have been the most obsessed with in my life would be Ashlee Simpson, so I guess (lame as it may be) my celeb blogger name will be Jayma Simpson. (Jayma just sounds sassy, don't you think?) This is not set in stone, and I am open for ideas, so please...feel free to comment! :) In fact, one of the reasons I am doing this is because last time I wrote about random stuff I got LOTS of comments and it made me super happy, so hopefully yall will let the comments flow, haha.

Reporting from the desk of Jayma Simpson...

1. Have you heard Kelly Clarkson's new song "My Life Would Suck Without You?" I don't like the title, but the song is very fun. Her last album was tragic, and this is more on track with the "Since You Been Gone" days, so I am excited! :) I saw her in concert in The Woodlands, and she is absolutely phenomenal. Plus, she is a 'down-to-Earth' Texas girl, and was the first American Idol EVER, so you pretty much have to love her!

2. Speaking of American Idol, it started tonight! I usually do not enjoy at all the first few weeks of Idol. There are really bad singers and sometimes the judges are mean, which is not very fun for me to watch. My kind husband ONLY likes the first few weeks (the bad singers) and quits liking it when it actually gets competitive. I tuned in tonight with excitement about the new season, but for the most part, very low expectations for the first few weeks. Well, I have to say that I loved it. I laughed so hard, my abs got a workout! I also like the new judge, Kara.

3. I missed the Golden Globes. :( If you know me, you know that for me, this is like missing the end of year trip to Six Flags in elementary school. I so look forward to it, I love award shows. I am so sad that I just completely forgot all about it, and Devon, my DVR didn't remember either. (Okay, so I forgot to tell Devon to record it, but still.) Don't worry, I watched the red carpet on E! twice, so I did get to see what everyone wore. Whose dress was y'alls favorite? I LOVED Kate Winslet's and Eva Longoria's! (I usually hate the color red, but I loved Eva's dress so much!) Eva Mendes took a risk, but I liked her too! To see pics (in case you don't have their dresses memorized, haha) click HERE.

4. Oh, The Bachelor. Girls, put away the claws. Are you here to meet a great guy, or did you come to fight with other girls that you will probably never see again (except at the awkward reunion at the end of the season)? I mean, I get so annoyed at some of these girls. And call me old fashioned, but I like watching the guys courting the girl (ahem, the Bachelorette) better than these girls throwing themselves at him. I understand that it is risky to say that, but it's just my opinion. Some of these girls look so pathetic. Also, if it bugs you that he is kissing another girl, um, ya probly shouldn'ta come on the show, honey!

5. Okay, have any of you seen Burn After Reading? I would like to say it might be the worst movie I have ever seen! I was mad when it was over, and felt like I had just wasted two hours of my life. I really want to meet someone who liked it, so if you did, please speak up. Maybe I missed something.

6. I can't wait to see what the beautiful Obama's wear to the Inauguration! I have Devon set to record the whole day...it's like ten hours or something like that. (Yes, I plan on fast forwarding through alot of it.) What an exciting day next tuesday will be in our nation, and how fitting that it falls the day after Martin Luther King, Jr. day!!! :)

7. I have a new obsession, which deserves its own post, but I will just give you a hint... 30 ROCK! Oh my gosh...I LOVE IT!

Dear Malia and Sasha,

I know that you've both had a lot of fun these last two years on the campaign trail, going to picnics and parades and state fairs, eating all sorts of junk food your mother and I probably shouldn't have let you have. But I also know that it hasn't always been easy for you and Mom, and that as excited as you both are about that new puppy, it doesn't make up for all the time we've been apart. I know how much I've missed these past two years, and today I want to tell you a little more about why I decided to take our family on this journey. When I was a young man, I thought life was all about me—about how I'd make my way in the world, become successful, and get the things I want. But then the two of you came into my world with all your curiosity and mischief and those smiles that never fail to fill my heart and light up my day. And suddenly, all my big plans for myself didn't seem so important anymore. I soon found that the greatest joy in my life was the joy I saw in yours. And I realized that my own life wouldn't count for much unless I was able to ensure that you had every opportunity for happiness and fulfillment in yours. In the end, girls, that's why I ran for President: because of what I want for you and for every child in this nation. I want all our children to go to schools worthy of their potential—schools that challenge them, inspire them, and instill in them a sense of wonder about the world around them. I want them to have the chance to go to college—even if their parents aren't rich. And I want them to get good jobs: jobs that pay well and give them benefits like health care, jobs that let them spend time with their own kids and retire with dignity. I want us to push the boundaries of discovery so that you'll live to see new technologies and inventions that improve our lives and make our planet cleaner and safer. And I want us to push our own human boundaries to reach beyond the divides of race and region, gender and religion that keep us from seeing the best in each other. Sometimes we have to send our young men and women into war and other dangerous situations to protect our country—but when we do, I want to make sure that it is only for a very good reason, that we try our best to settle our differences with others peacefully, and that we do everything possible to keep our servicemen and women safe. And I want every child to understand that the blessings these brave Americans fight for are not free—that with the great privilege of being a citizen of this nation comes great responsibility.
Sasha (l) and Malia Obama at play in New Hampshire in 2007.
Bumper cars at the Iowa State Fair in August 2007.That was the lesson your grandmother tried to teach me when I was your age, reading me the opening lines of the Declaration of Independence and telling me about the men and women who marched for equality because they believed those words put to paper two centuries ago should mean something. She helped me understand that America is great not because it is perfect but because it can always be made better—and that the unfinished work of perfecting our union falls to each of us. It's a charge we pass on to our children, coming closer with each new generation to what we know America should be. I hope both of you will take up that work, righting the wrongs that you see and working to give others the chances you've had. Not just because you have an obligation to give something back to this country that has given our family so much—although you do have that obligation. But because you have an obligation to yourself. Because it is only when you hitch your wagon to something larger than yourself that you will realize your true potential. These are the things I want for you—to grow up in a world with no limits on your dreams and no achievements beyond your reach, and to grow into compassionate, committed women who will help build that world. And I want every child to have the same chances to learn and dream and grow and thrive that you girls have. That's why I've taken our family on this great adventure. I am so proud of both of you. I love you more than you can ever know. And I am grateful every day for your patience, poise, grace, and humor as we prepare to start our new life together in the White House.
Love, Dad

This is an open letter written by Barack Obama to his daughters, when Parade asked him what he wants for his girls. I thought it was very sweet and well-written and just wanted to share it with y'all. :)

Princess Claire turns 2!

On Sunday, Zac and I went to McKinney for Claire's birthday party. It was a small party, just family, but it was so much fun. It was kinda nice to have a more intimate party because we all got to visit with each other. Ellen and Braegan, yall know how to throw a party! :)
Nati was shy when I first arrived, which has never happened before. It was cute though, and when it was time to eat, he made sure to sit right next to me. :) Claire has matured alot since Thanksgiving. She is talking lots more, and her personality is getting bigger by the day. She is the prissiest (is that a word?) little girl I have ever been around, and I LOVE IT! It is so cute. She is so girly, she even runs girly! (arms raised and out to the sides, so funny and cute)
It was a lovely party and it was great to spend a few hours with family. I enjoy living close to them, and am purposely appreciative, since I know we will not live near them forever. Here are some pics...

Ellen cutting the cake. The party was Sesame Street themed! :)

Claire playing with the piggybank toy we gave her. The Princess dress was from Aunt Tara and was quite a hit!

There was even a pinata. It was cool because instead of hitting it with a stick and being blindfolded, the kids took turns pulling a string. Several streamers were hanging down, and one of them opened the trap and let the candy out. Pretty cool, huh? Check out the video of Claire squealing as the candy fell all around her...

Before we left, we wanted to get a picture with Claire and Nati. It's not the best picture, but still pretty cute. :) Have I ever mentioned that I can not wait to have kids??

My "Special" Saturday

This past Saturday, our high school hosted their annual Special Olympics basketball tournament. This was my second one to attend, and it was awesome. The local Special Olympics chapter includes Rockwall, Cedar Hill, Midlothian, Waxahachie, Highland Park, and DeSoto, and it is an amazing organization. There are three different divisions, elementary, middle school, and high school/adult. I think the elementary kids are my favorite, but I loved watching all of them. The kids have so much fun, and the parents at this event are SO amazing. Y'all know I have a weakness for these kids. I love them. I feel like I was meant to work with kids with special needs. In fact, I have worked with alot of the kids that were on the Midlothian teams. I love them so much and it is the most rewarding work I think I have ever done. More than cheerleading (duh, that's easy to do), but more rewarding than mission work, or anything else I've been a part of. These kids just make me so so happy, so of course spending a fun day with them was a blast. There were games all morning, then a little workshop where the high school basketball players did little drills with them and stuff. That was probably the most fun part to watch. It is so cool to see the high school kids getting so into bonding with these kids. They would get so excited when their buddies were successful!

Here is one of my favorite little girls with Blue the Panther.

Ramsi and I liked the shirt design this year...

The cheerleaders attend and cheer for all the teams. The kids think of them as celebrities...it is so neat for both the kids and the cheerleaders! We served them lunch, and then helped with the award ceremony at the end of the day. :)

Adorable Anne

I just (literally right now) decided that my new favorite actress is Anne Hathaway. I have always thought she was sophisticated and stylish and classy. I started liking her alot after her interview with David Letterman because she seemed so down-to-earth, with a great sense of humor. Well, she was on Ellen (my favorite show) yesterday, and I just fell all the way in love with her. She went through alot last year (surely you heard about this), but she is so graceful and poised.
To see her interview on Ellen, click HERE, and for the second part, all about the movie Bride Wars, and also some funny dance movesclick HERE. (If you are only going to watch only one of them though, watch the first one!) Isn't she so delightful? Oh, and I will definitely go see Bride Wars.

blah blah blah...just me rambling

These are topics that probably no one cares about, but I'm just gonna go ahead and throw them out there...
1. This week I confirmed the fact that I like The Bachelorette seasons much better than The Bachelor. In case you dont know the diff, The Bachelorette is one girl and 25 guys. When they guys are not with the girl, the play sports, workout, eat, whatever, but there is minimal drama. It is fun to watch. On The Bachelor, however, it is one guy and 25 girls. The girls in the house are catty and LOVE drama. It is hard for me to enjoy. Reminds me of high school cheerleading, haha. Too many girls and too many personalities equals TOO MUCH DRAMA!
2. I saw the first episode of the new Real World tonight and I am very intrigued! Zac and I both enjoy the show and we both think we are good at judging a person well, so it is interesting for us to compare what we think about each cast member. Do any of yall watch The Real World? What did you think? DJ is our fave so far.
3. Did you hear..."If You Seek Amy" is going to be the next single off of Britney's Circus album! I am surprised by the choice (can they really play that on the radio?) but I do love the song.
4. Zac and I just renewed our membership to Netflix. We subscribed for over three years (I like to brag that I was the first person of ANYONE I knew who had it. When I would try to describe it to people they were like "what...you can't mail dvd's! haha), but we cancelled it when we moved to Austin because we were so super busy. Anyways, we are back now and just watched our first movie tonight. Shooter. I forgot how amazing this movie is. Obvs we had seen it before, but if you have not seen it...RENT IT! It is awesome! :)
5. If you appreciate pop music, you MUST check out Comeback by Kelly Rowland. It isn't that new or anything, but I just recently discovered it and downloaded it. I also have the Karmatronic Club Mix, which is a delight if you are in the mood to dance or clean, or just feel happy! :)
6. I LOVE this purse. The brand is Pastry, which is Angela and Vanessa Simmons' (Rev Run's daughters) company. I got some Pastry shoes for Christmas last year and then ended up returning them because I needed a pair of Nike Shox. Anyways, they make really fun and colorful stuff, and I have always wanted to buy something from their line. I really love that specific purse and lots of their bags, but be honest...is it too "young" for me? I mean is a 25 year old supposed to carry a more sophisticated purse? I say no, but what do you think?

I told you that this was all useless stuff, that you prob don't care much about! :)
Haha, lots of stuff to comment about though...if you want.

9 years colon-free

Nine years ago today, I woke up and went to the hospital for a five hour surgery that would change my life. Every year since that day in 2000, on January 6th, I celebrate my "colon anniversary." I take a day to be thankful for the doctors, family, science/technology, and my faith that have affected my life for the better. I was a sick little girl, who thought I would be sick my whole life, but this surgery set me free. I feel blessed and grateful, and though I am aware of my blessings year round, I like setting aside this day as a celebration of my good health.

A few years ago, in Burnet, I was asked to speak at Fellowship of Christian Athletes. I chose to spoke about the one area of my life which both heightened and challenged my faith...my illness. Here is the speech I gave that night, several years ago. It is very long, and keep in mind my audience was 14-18 year olds. (It was written to be spoken to an audience, not read by an audience, so it is a little rough, but I didn't want to change it.) I wanted to share it with yall on my blog, because even though alot of you knew what happened to me, most of you are not aware of the spiritual journey this took me on. Some of it is kind of embarrassing now, because I was immature spiritually, but this is my witness...
My family started going to church when I was in sixth grade, and even though I didn’t want to at first, I immediately loved it. I was baptized, confirmed, joined youth group and everything. To this day, my best friends are the ones that were in my youth group...so that’s just kind of a background of my faith. But anyways, when I was in eighth grade around spring break, I started to notice there was blood in the toilet when I would use the restroom. I ignored it at first, but it started to be more and more, and I started losing weight. I went to all these doctors and was never really worried. Well, that July right before my freshman year of high school, I was finally diagnosed. They told me I had a disease called Ulcerative Colitis, which meant that the lining of my colon (or large intestine) was full of ulcers. It is a lifelong disease with no cure. Well, it sounds like a big deal, but they put me on a real light dose of steroids, and I was better in a week. I was like, oh this is no big deal…its like a cold, if you get sick, you take medicine and get better right away. No big deal right?
Well, around Christmas time my freshman year (so I guess about five months later) I had a relapse. I started getting all the symptoms of the disease, but a little worse than that one time before.) This time it took a little more medicine to get me better, but it was still not a real big deal. Well, the rest of my freshman and sophomore year I kept going in and out of remission and each time it was worse than before and took more medicine than before to get me well again. Just so you have an idea, I was your age and taking anywhere from 12 to 64 pills a day depending on how I was doing. Well, when I was sick, I was on this steroid called Prednisone. I don’t know if any of yall have experience taking this, but its horrible. My face puffed up, I gained weight, I could not sleep, I was moody, I mean I would cry over the pettiest things like not being able to decide what to order at a restaurant. My hair was falling out, I mean it was all this little stuff, but also the steroids depleted my bone mass, so I was also getting bone density tests done at age 15, they told me I had osteopenia which is a notch below osteoporosis. This other med I was on called Immuran lowered my white blood count so much it basically crashed my immune system. I would have to go get blood work done once a week to check my levels, and my immune system was so bad, I had to wait in the back of the clinic, because they were worried if I went through the waiting room I was too likely to get sick. It was just like a cruel circle, I mean I had to take this medicine to make my Colitis better, but then it did all this other stuff to me too.

Well, eventually I started to get sick of it. I hated it. I was so tired of having an optimistic outlook and being strong and happy all the time. I started thinking ya know, if God loved me, he would not let this happen to me. If I am a child of God, and I am a good person, why would He allow me to suffer like this? I started to become angry yall. I was like forget Him…if he doesn’t care about me, I won’t care about Him either. My attitude changed, and people probably noticed. I know I started kindof distancing myself from my parents who had always been my best friends and supporters through all this. I was just hateful, and I became rebellious in my faith. I mean I didn’t turn into this wild child or anything, it was all in my mind. It was like subconsciously I was getting revenge at God. I quit praying, I quit reading my bible, when I went to youth group I would just visit with my friends but not pay attention when we were discussing God.

So ok, at the very beginning of my junior year there was this huge back-to school bash at this girls house whose parents were out of town. I didn’t usually go to the parties, and if I did it was just to drive someone else home and stuff, but I decided that night I was going to drink. Being a good girl had not gotten me anywhere, and to tell you the truth, I was kinda sick of being considered a goody-goody. So, I had a few drinks, got a huge buzz, and then I went home. I thought I was fine…my friend took me home and I got home safe, my parents never knew I didn’t really go to the movies, and I woke up the next morning feeling a little blah but I guess I was just hungover. Well, the funny thing is I remember laying in bed that Saturday morning and thinking, that’s weird, I don’t feel any different for having a few drinks that night before. I did not feel any cooler, I wasn’t grown up all of a sudden, I guess I felt a little guilty for lying to my parents but I was like oh well, no big deal. I sort of chalked it up as just a stupid mistake, but ya know, oh well…Life goes on.

Well, Monday afternoon when I was changing after school for cheer practice I used the restroom and saw that I was having a relapse. I was devastated; I mean I knew I had done this to myself. If you know anything about ulcers, you know that alcohol can cause them. I was distracted that whole practice and just kind of mad at myself, because I felt stupid. I didn’t even have that much fun drinking, it was just a stupid choice I had made, but now I was gonna pay for it, because I was having a relapse. I went to the doc and he put me back on the usual meds, but this time I wasn’t getting better. You thought I was hateful and resentful towards God before? Now, I was more than ever. I was furious. In my eyes at the time, He was making me pay for my mistake and He was doing this all on purpose. I thought since I didn’t talk to Him anymore, and since I had gone to that party, God was gonna show me who was in control. Well, I was just angry!

So the doctors kept increasing the amount of steroids I was taking (my body not responding the whole time!!!) until they could ethically and safely not allow me to take any more. I was still in a relapse and it was the worst one I had ever had. I was having pains, bleeding lots and also at the same time on all these crazy meds that had all these extra side effects. So, we tried IV therapy, where I would go sit in the same clinic cancer patients receiving chemo were in, in this little recliner for three or four hours a week hoping this medicine they were giving through IV would soothe and heal the ulcers so I could get back to normal. Well, needless to say it didn’t work. Finally my doctor hit me with the big news. My cells in my colon were so damaged and had started to mutate, it was looking like pre-cancerous cells. Colon cancer. I was 16 y’all. So, my doctor mentioned that there was a surgery they could where they would take my entire large intestine out and I would have an ostomy bag on the outside of my body for six weeks, and then hopefully If everything went right and they were able to repair the inside of me, I would get rid of the bag and go back to using my own system again. I was scared, but at the same time, I was just ready to be better and quit suffering, so I guess I felt a little brave too. I just wanted to not be sick. So we went and saw the surgeon. My whole family went, I remember that we talked about all these different risks, like if it doesn’t go right I would have this bag thing on the outside of my body for the rest of my life. It was scary, but the risks of surgery still outweighed the risks of keeping my colon since it was hurting me more than helping me, and it would only get worse in the future.

About a week after that appointment when we decided to go through with this major, and rare surgery…it all sunk in. I was going to be knocked out for 5 hours while they operated on me, I would stay in the hospital a week, use a bag for six weeks, and then go back to the hospital again for another surgery to remove the bag and be in for another week, and I was gonna miss three months of school my junior year. That was my breaking point.

I was so scared and worn down, and just exhausted from holding up this “I’m tough, I will handle this on my own, I don’t need you God” attitude, I broke down. I cried every night and pleaded God to forgive me. I needed him more than ever. I felt guilty for turning my back on him and then crawling back to him when I needed something. I started reading the scripture, and I started finding all these scriptures. I brought my journal, and I want to read a few of them to you.

1 Peter 5:7...Cast all your anxiety on Him because He cares for you.

Proverbs 3:5-6...“Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding, in all your ways acknowledge Him and He will make your paths straight.

Psalm 145:14...The Lord upholds all those who fall, and lifts up all who are bowed down.

Psalm 62:5-6...Find rest O my soul in God alone: my hope comes from Him. He alone is my rock and salvation. He is my fortress and I will not be shaken.

Philippians 4:6-7...Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God which transcends all understanding will guard your hearts and minds in Jesus Christ.

1 Peter 4:12-13...Dear Friends, do not be surprised at the painful trial you are suffering, as though something strange were happening to you. But rejoice that you participate in the sufferings of Christ, so that you may be overjoyed when His glory is revealed.

Psalm 42:11...Why are you downcast, Oh my soul? Why so disturbed within me? Put your hope in God, for I will yet praise Him, my Savior, my God.

Okay, can you imagine just randomly flipping through your bible and finding all these scriptures that are speaking directly to you? God was with me that night, and yall, I truly do believe that. I truly think God was saying “Here, be comforted…take this advice, trust in me, let me help and heal you!”

So I slowly started believing again. And y’all I'm not saying it was overnight, but I got into the word and found all this comfort, so I quit trying to do it on my own.

I became closer to god than I had ever been. I mean every thought in my mind was directed to God, it was like my days were one long conversation with god. Seriously any thought I thought was directed towards God. I was in constant prayer, and you know what happened? I felt this strange comfort, I cant explain. Corinthians 1:5 says For just as the sufferings of Christ flow over into our lives, so also through Christ our comfort overflows.

I was about to undergo what doctors said would probably be the hardest thing I would ever experience (including childbirth and everything) and I was totally relaxed. I felt safe, I felt guarded. God was on my side, I felt like nothing would get me down. Yall, you might think its dumb, but I was so at peace with everything about to happen, I wasn’t scared, its like I just knew I was being taken care of. When I was scared I would pray, when I was hurting I would pray. And people saw this sudden strength and attitude change. I quit focusing on the bad things (poor me, why me? What did I do so wrong to deserve this? Etc…) to all the good things, like well I am lucky I have such a great family, and I am glad my parents can afford to get me the care I need, and I am so glad I have the best doctors in the whole wide world. People asked me how I was dealing with everything so well. Well, in 1 Corinthians 10:31 it says:Whether you eat or drink or whatever you do, do it all for the glory of God.

So I told them God was helping me through it. This was not me at all, God had taken over and was literally carrying me through each day. People at school thought I was hiding my fear or something, like how can she be so calm and collected when she is so sick and about to go through this major thing? I was happy, so they thought I was just internalizing everything. Proverbs 17:22 says that A cheerful heart is good medicine, but a crushed spirit dries the bones. But when people would say stuff, I would tell them…God is with me, and it became an easy way for me to witness. I could have never before so easily talked about God with my peers, but suddenly it was so easy for me to share. I was so grateful, and I just wanted everyone to know. I was able to use what I was going through to reach other people, and since I had they thought I was so vulnerable and should have been so sad and terrified, I wasn’t just saying it, they could actually see that God was with me and helping me by my attitude.

So, I got through the surgery fine, and throughout my healing time, I felt so blessed in a million ways. to have such wonderful doctors, great friends, family, church. I missed three months of school but it flew by. I constantly had visitors and love surrounding me. My youth director would come and visit me and tell me she could feel Jesus shining through me. I'm not bragging or anything guys, but isn’t that the goal? Don’t we all want people to just see us glowing like we are on this high that can only come from Jesus? God used me and I was an instrument of God.

Okay, so I know my situation is really unique, but guys it really doesn’t matter what it is…say your parents are getting divorced, or you are sad you are leaving for college, you have lost a loved one or just anytime you are facing a difficult time, you have to make a choice. You can resent God for putting you in the situation (which I can tell you from experience is no the way to go) or you can turn to God and say, okay, I surrender, you're right I cant do it on my own, help me, use me, whatever it is, I will serve you and praise you because you are my Lord. Just think y’all, you know that comfort and peace I felt after I came to God…what if I could have had that all along? What if I didn’t have to be so scared and bitter and hateful and resentful? I didn’t have to, if I would have just turned to God earlier, and you don’t ever have to experience that either. I promise, if you put your faith and trust in God, He will come through, he will not disappoint you.

James 1:2-4 says Consider it pure joy, my brothers, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith develops perseverance. Perseverance must finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything.

I could not understand at the time why in the world I was so young and going through this horrible thing, but I look back, and its so clear to me now. I am a stronger person and God knew what he was doing, he tested me more and more until I finally broke, and as weird as it sounds, I am glad He did. I might never have been so close to God if it weren’t for those times I had no choice but to turn and give all of my energy to Him.

Y’all, I hope that you got a little something out of tonight. I just hope you can remember that whenever things get tough you DO have someone on your side, and you are NOT alone, and you never have to be. I know God has the same peace and comfort for you that he showed me.

Yay!

My sister started a blog about my niece Madeline! Hooray! I have it listed to the right on my blog roll, but just in case, HERE is the link! :) So now you can read about both of my wonderful nieces, since Eliza already has a blog!! Yippee!
Both Ellie and Madeline got pink cell phones for Christmas. Here are my pink little cuties...

Lucky

A beautiful song by two lovely voices. The video is nice and pleasant also.

Jason Mraz - New Music - More Music Videos

OUR 12 Days of Christmas

Zac and I were gone for a 12 day trip this year for Christmas. I am going to just list a few of my favorite things about each day. I mean, we saw friends, family, it was the holidays...this post could be never ending! :) I had a really hard time picking just a few pictures, but I wanted to give yall a little sample. For all the pictures, check out my PICASA page. Make sure you read the captions, I like to explain or comment on the picture! :) Also, I uploaded several CUTE videos you must see on my ProudAuntJules YouTube page.

Saturday, December 20-Drove to Waco and had lunch with my dad and Uncle Mel. Zac stayed with them in Waco to watch a state playoff game, and I drove on to Austin. Papa took us out to eat to celebrate the end of my semester and my good grades. :)
Sunday-I had brunch with my friend/big brother Danny. It was his birthday so we went to Kirby Lane to celebrate and eat some big yummy pancakes. Hot pancakes with a friend on a cold day is the best! :) Mom returned home from Houston with Madeline, so we played and then went to eat at Carinos. I have never seen a person love spaghetti more than she did!Monday- Tatem and Eliza came over for a playdate with Madeline. They were so cute together!! I have two amazing nieces! For dinner that night we went over to the Willey's house. Mom and Patti were friends in college and even roommates for awhile. Patti and Van have three kids (about our age), and we have been friends forever. I love having old friends, who you played with in diapers. Now we are married, starting families and all that fun stuff. It's awesome to have friends you have known since before you could remember, and to know that our kids will be friends too. :)
Tuesday- We met up with the Donaldson's (our best friends from Burnet) in Round Rock for lunch and then ice skating. Chris's mom lives in Georgetown, so it is nice to get to see each other over the holidays and summer and spring break when we are both in the Austin area at the same time. They are amazing friends and we miss living down the road from them. Tuesday evening we headed to Katy.Wednesday- Christmas Eve! We woke up at Liz's house and went into Houston to see Baw and have lunch with her. After a few hours at her house, we all loaded up and headed back to Katy to spend the night at the Bartlett's, where we had Christmas.Thursday- Christmas!! My cousin Chris who lives in Denver surprised us all by driving down for the special day. Madeline did not rush through gifts...she wanted to spend a little time with each toy, which was cute. She got a spring horse from Baw and a sit-n-spin from my parents, so it was fun to see her reaction to those big gifts. We had a big group, since Andy's family was there also, but it was a wonderful day...very fun. I got to take a big fat nap, which was nice too! We had to take Molly to the Animal Hospital (read below for details) that night, which was horrible, but overall it was still an amazing day!Friday- Every year on the day after Christmas we get together with all of my Grandfather's side of the family. My mom's cousins and their kids and grand kids. It's funny because my cousins Karen and Laura live in the D/FW area, but I don't get to see them much (which I plan on changing), so it is nice to know for sure that I will see them on the 26th each year. Friday night we continued a tradition we started last year by going to Buffalo Wild Wings for dinner and drinks. It was alot of fun, of course!Saturday- We drove to Burnet for our Christmas with the Oldhams. Tatem and Eliza were already there, so we all went out to eat at Tamale King, which was my favorite restaurant when we lived in Burnet. After dinner, Mom and I went grocery shopping, and then I made some chocolate chip cookies. I forgot to follow some of the directions, but they still turned out delish!Sunday- Oldham Christmas Eve. Eli and Scott arrived to town and we had a spaghetti lunch and festive dinner. The Oldham tradition is to do snack food stuff for Christmas eve, so we had queso, spinach artichoke dip, meatballs, salsa, and much much more. We had the best time sitting around the table (ALL 10 OF US!) and laughing and telling Christmas stories from our childhoods. We painted ornaments and sang carols. It was great. Dad got anxious, and the time felt right, so we ended up opening gifts on Christmas Eve instead of Christmas. We each got one gift, since we drew names this year, but I think everyone put alot of thought into the gift since they only had to buy one. It was neat to go slow and see what everyone got. Eliza got TONS of stuff...she was so cute and funny.Monday- Oldham Christmas! :) Before we ate a big scrumptious meal of turkey and dressing and all that fun stuff, we went to a friend of Mom's house and got to play with 8 beautiful Boston Terrier puppies. Needless to say, I was in love, and it was hard to leave without one. (I think Molly's eye injury made it easier, since I knew I needed to devote all of my attention to her.) Monday evening we drove to Llano (which is like 30 minutes from Burnet) to meet my parents and my Aunt Nancy and Uncle Mel and cousin Matt (who is usually in London) at their favorite restaurant Coopers Bar-B-Que. After dinner we headed to Austin to spend more time with my cousin Matt, and to do some shopping.Tuesday-Shopping on SoCo (South Congress in Austin) and at the Round Rock Outlet Mall, and spending time with the fam. We went to a bar called Bagpipes to eat and watch the Oklahoma State football game. Poor Zac...his team didn't win.
Wednesday-headed home to Midlothian. We had a laid back New Years Eve...just went out to eat at the Outback and then rented The Dark Knight, which we hadn't seen since it was in the theaters last summer. We were kinda lame, but it was nice to be low key, after such an eventful 12 days. :)

Sunday Dinner

Zac just made me scrambled eggs and toast and chocolate milk for dinner. I loved it! It was very nostalgic for me. Growing up, Sunday nights were the one night a week that we were each on our own for dinner, or we ate together but had a low-key meal. We always went out to eat lunch after church and had a big meal, so Sunday nights we often had grilled cheese or scrabled eggs or just a bowl of cereal of something. Something just feels right about having a light meal on Sunday night, as you get ready for the week ahead. Zac and I had some nice conversation over dinner. When I told him about my childhood Sunday night meals, we started comparing favorite foods as a kid and other stuff. For example, neither of us had French Toast growing up, but we both loved Cinnamon Toast. :) I liked to drink chocolate milk on occasion, and Zac drank Strawberry milk. Haha, we have been married four and a half years and had never talked about all this until tonight. Funny huh? It sounds so petty, but having scrabled eggs tonight, on a Sunday night, it made me feel very at home, and reminiscent. We hope to pass on little "unofficial" traditions like this to our kids.

The Curious Case of Benjamin Button

This was a good movie, but I didn't leave it gushing like I have with other movies. I do think that you should see it though. It was a long movie, but I thought it was worth it. It reminded me of the movie Big Fish, because it felt like a folk tale and had to do with age, and also flashed back and forth from past to present. It sortof had a Forrest Gump element to it too, since it covered so much time, the main character experienced alot of American history. Also, starting around the two hour mark, Bradly Pitt starts looking mighty fine. :) hehe!

Molly and Me

Mom and Aunt Nancy and I went to see Marley and Me a few nights ago. It was good, but sad too. I had read most of the book, so I knew a little about it. If people can get that attached to a dog who completely misbehaves, that they can't trust....imagine how much you can become attached to a dog that's obedient and sweet and more character than alot of people!! It's no secret how much I love my pooch. I hardly consider her a dog...she is our daughter. She has so much personality, loyalty, and love to give. She's the best. On Christmas Eve this year, I started noticing that she was keeping her right eye shut by squinting. I thought maybe she had allergies, so we gave her benadryl and joked about it, calling her "stink-eye." Christmas day we started realizing it was nothing to joke about. She was not herself at all, resting alot, and not wanting much interaction. (For those of you who haven't had the privilege of meeting Molly first hand, she LOVES interaction, and is incapable of being calm and sleeping when there is a big group. She is a playful girl!) She was still keeping the eye closed, but now we could see it starting to swell on the top and bottom of the eye. Later in the evening when I saw it opened (for a slip second) I saw that there was a bluish-gray spot on the eye. It looked kinda like a cataract or something, ya know how they are kinda ghostly or something. Anyways, after going back and forth, and it eating away at us, Zac and I decided we could not ignore this thing away, so we took her to the Animal Hospital. She was in so much pain, she whimpered and whined the whole way in the car, even tought she usually LOVES car rides!) To make a long story short, we were there for over three hours (not fun to be there anytime, but on Christmas Day it was especially unpleasant. Let's face it...no one wanted to be there. Not the staff, not the customers, not the dogs.) After an examination and a fleuroscein stain test, we were told she has a 4mm laceration on her eye. They called it a corneal ulcer. This was causing her iris to spasm, which the doctor informed us is "extremely extremely painful!" Can you imagine? I knew she was hurting, but for the vet to say that my little baby was in horrible amounts of pain, it just broke my heart. She was put on anti-biotics to prevent infection, anti-inflammatories, and pain killers. Bless her heart.
It's been a week and the swelling, and most of the redness and the grey spot have gone away, but it still bothers her alot. We ran out of the pain killer two days ago, and I felt awful for her. She likes the dark and she is resting alot, so hopefully she will be back to her old self in no time. It still looks pretty bloodshot, but I'm hoping that just means the blood is rushing to it, to help heal it, so maybe that is not a bad thing? I just know I want her to not be in an ounce of pain, and I want her to feel like herself again. If it is this upsetting for me to see Molly in pain, I can't imagine what my parents felt like when I was so sick in high school. It is a very helpless and miserable feeling. What will I be like when I am a mom and my little boy breaks his arm or something? If it is comparable to the emotions I have been going through over the last week with Molly, but magnified because it's your human child going through it...ugh, I can't even imagine!

Happy New Year!

For my resolution this year, I decided to give up all sodas. I have done this for lent several times (only six weeks!), but never for a year. I actually told myself I would do it on a trial basis for January, and then see how it goes from there. Hopefully I will quit craving Dr. Peppers and I will get used to drinking water and lemonade and stuff, and after January, I will decide to keep going. Unfortunantly I do not have the strongest will power, but I think a nice challenge will do me good. :) One thing that does make it easier is that Zac gave them up about 10 weeks ago, so we are in it together! For his resolution, he gave up french fries (one of his favorites!) and all chips, which means no more chips and salsa (another of his favorite snacks!!). We are trying to be healthier (obviously) and as I get closer to the time when we can start expanding our family, I will be much better off to have a healthier body and diet. We also made an unofficial resolution (not really calling it a resolution, just a goal) to walk Molly daily, which means we will be walking ourselves daily too! :) I will keep yall posted on how it is going. I feel like it is much easier to keep promises to yourself when you really want to, and I think I am in the right frame of mind about it, so hopefully (fingers crossed) we will be able to keep our resolutions.
Oh, and I took over 400 pictures over the past two weeks, so I am sorting them out and getting ready to write a few posts. Thanks for being patient. I DO have lots to share! :)